The Shame that Binds Me

I have not experienced great success or failure in my life. The gaze turned on me with the triumph of one or the other. Risk aversion they call it. I do not want to be seen. For a myriad of reasons, but the grip deep in my core, reining me in, is shame.

This grip is not necessarily the result of anything I did. Guilt would quantify that feeling. The road to recovery a clear path. Call yourself out, name your sin, make amends and gather all lessons learned from your travel. Call it a day, call it a life, end of story. The book has a straight trajectory.

Shame has an elusive meandering quality, like a low-grade fever with unknown origins. An Eoyore type malady, clouding the lenses through which we view the world.

How did I come to wear these lenses? How can I remove them? Is there really a catastrophic price to being seen as shame dictates?

I am on a quest to find out. Lay it all bare and shed this shame fever.